Two Weddings and a Funeral

My oldest, dearest friend Claire got married yesterday. (You might remember Claire from my tattoo post.) Happily for Claire, but unhappily for me, the wedding was in Kona, Hawaii — possibly the furthest location from Johannesburg on this earth. I coudn’t go. Sniff.

In an interesting twist of fate, I was invited to a wedding right in my own time zone on the same day. (Well, technically I wasn’t invited. But I went. More on that later.) I was grateful for the opportunity. I couldn’t be with Claire on her special day, but being at someone else’s nuptials made me feel closer to Kona.

I wasn’t in Kona though. I was in Kroonstad.

Bobo and Mantoa got married in Kroonstad. I didn’t get a decent photo of the bride and groom so you’ll have to settle for this banner. (Which is awesome.)

Let me explain. Bobo, the groom, went to high school my good friend Florence. Florence and her husband Rob invited me to tag along to Bobo’s wedding with them. Florence assured me it was no problem that I wasn’t on the guest list, and had never even met the bride or groom. Wedding-crashing is common practice here and totally acceptable, if not encouraged.

I eagerly accepted, having never been to a wedding in South Africa before. Florence said the wedding was in Katlehong, a township just east of Joburg. Even better. I’m always keen to visit a township.

The wedding was to start at 11:00. Florence and Rob picked me up at 2:00. Not a problem, said Florence. Guests aren’t expected to be on time to African weddings.

I hopped into the car and Rob looked at the directions for the wedding, in an email on his phone. There were actually two separate celebrations: one hosted by the bride’s family on Saturday and one hosted by the groom’s family on Sunday. The Saturday celebration was not in Katlehong, but in Kroonstad. None of us had ever heard of Kroonstad. Florence assumed it was near Katlehong.

By this time we were on the N1 highway, driving toward Katlehong. We passed a sign: ‘Kroonstad: 165 kms’.


The wedding was two hours away and we were already three hours late. Florence hit the gas pedal and kept driving. This is Africa.

We reached Kroonstad, a tiny town in Free State Province, at 4:30. We arrived at the wedding venue, a large civic centre. Guess what? We were right on time. The bride and groom had just finished their photo session and hadn’t even arrived for the reception yet.

Two suave wedding guests wait for Bobo and Mantoa to arrive.

Florence was right. It made no difference that we were late and no one batted an eye at the presence of strange, uninvited white girl. We went inside, found seats, and joined the party.

Awesome hats.

With the exception of the aforementioned acceptability of tardiness and wedding-crashing, my first South African wedding reception was much like a wedding reception in the United States. Big hall, big white dress, over-the-top bridesmaids’ frocks. There was a dinner buffet, a champagne toast, and a cake. (I’m told the township wedding, planned for the next day, would be quite different. Unfortunately we weren’t able to go.)

The biggest difference at this reception was the dancing. Weddings here have a lot more dancing than weddings back home, and everyone seems to be much better at it.

The wedding party didn’t just walk into the reception; they danced in. I wasn’t in a good position photograph the dance so I focused on this line of cell-phone photographers.

Let me pause to tell you that I am a terrible wedding photographer. Photographing people dancing in low, artificial light is impossible, at least for an amateur like me. My pictures are all fuzzy and horrible. But I can’t write a wedding post witout wedding pictures, so I’m using them anyway.

Once everyone was settled in their seats, there were a few speeches and then more dancing.

This talented pair of kids, friends of the bride I think, performed a serious dance routine.

Having fun.

Eventually the groomsmen took centre stage.

Bobo is on the right, next to the guy in the striped shirt. Love the purple color scheme.

Finally it was time for dinner. I feel sorry for the people who arrived on time at 11:00 a.m., as dinner didn’t start until about 6:30. The tables were called up to the buffet one at a time and the line moved slowly, so we had to be patient.

I took some pictures of Florence and Rob to pass the time. This is my favorite. 

We finished dinner, paid our respects to Bobo and Mantoa, and decided it was time to leave. It was pouring rain and we had a long drive home. We gathered our things and got up from the table.


We looked around. We were the only ones standing up and everyone was staring at us. And let’s be honest — Rob and I couldn’t exactly blend into the crowd. We sat down sheepishly.

The cake was cut, in the usual way. I’m glad we stayed. Immediately after the cake-cutting, the whole place erupted in dancing. The three of us joined in for a while, then danced quietly out the door.

The crowd dances. The bride cheers us on.

You may be wondering why there is a funeral in my headline. Bobo and Mantoa met at a funeral! Ten months later, they are husband and wife. Go figure.

This is a terrible picture but I love the way the little girl is twirling her dress. It’s so wedding-y.

Congratulations, Bobo and Mantoa. And congratulations, Claire and Isaiah. Aloha! I love you guys.

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  • Reply MartinaInJozi December 11, 2011 at 11:01 pm

    This looks like a really fun wedding!

    • Reply 2summers December 11, 2011 at 11:14 pm

      It was. And there wasn’t even any booze! (Except for the champagne for the toast, which I believe was very low-alcohol.)

      • Reply Jaco Roets December 11, 2011 at 11:25 pm

        Awesome post. Funny thing. I grew up in an even smaller town near kroonstad!

        • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 7:09 am

          There are smaller towns than Kroonstad? Just kidding, I saw Kroonstad for all of 10 minutes and I actually have no idea how large it is. It looked like an interesting place, from what I saw.

    • Reply Jaco December 12, 2011 at 4:05 pm

      There are much smaller towns! Kroonstad is actually one of the largest in the region. I remember the civic center well. We always had piano recitals and competitions there as children. The complex was so impressive for me! I took Mia there the other day, and it suddenly looked so small! As a child I was mightely impressed by Kroonstad’s traffic lights, and the fact that they had a Woolworth’s and a Spur. Heather, I think you should be taken on a guided tour of the villages of the Eastern Free State soon!

      • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 4:24 pm

        Haha. I come from a small town myself so I can relate. I should have done more research before calling Kroonstad ‘tiny’. I suppose everything seems tiny these days compared to Joburg. Even Washington DC could be considered tiny in comparison.

        PS: You’re right – that was an impressive civic centre!

  • Reply eremophila December 12, 2011 at 12:42 am

    You saved the best pic for last! It’s awesome! Don’t worry about the tech stuff, you’ve captured the mood and that’s what counts!
    I avoid most weddings, but I could easily be convinced to attend a wedding like this one!

    • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 7:07 am

      Thanks, I’m so glad you like that pic. I like it too.

  • Reply Debra Kolkka December 12, 2011 at 1:14 am

    I love your photos! Isn’t is funny how traditional English type weddings have been adopted all over. I quite like the idea of eloping.

    • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 7:06 am

      Thanks! Yep, everyone loves the big white dress and the cake. Hopefully I’ll make it to a more traditional African wedding eventually.

  • Reply Kathryn McCullough December 12, 2011 at 2:29 am

    I totally love this post, Heather! This description and the photos are priceless. Sorry you missed your friend’s wedding, but I’m glad for us you made it to this one.

    • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 7:05 am

      Thanks Kathy. It’s good to know I did an acceptable job on my first wedding post. It was hard!

  • Reply campbellisaac December 12, 2011 at 3:00 am

    Looks like fun, I imagine it was a lot like a Samoan wedding… Lots of food and very loud? Anyway too bad about Hawaii, but next best thing, right?

    • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 7:02 am

      Hmm, I don’t know! I’ve never been to a Samoan wedding. But honestly, in terms of food and noise level it wasn’t very different from an American wedding.

  • Reply Joburg Expat December 12, 2011 at 6:08 am

    Love it love it love it! Including the title.
    My favorite pic is also that of Rob and Florence. Couldn’t help but think of “I now pronounce you black and white,” the movie. Have you seen it? Good South African humor.
    If you ever do hear about a funeral to go to, let me know. I’ve heard they are not to miss here.

    • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 7:01 am

      Thanks Sine! Okay, I’ll let you know if anyone dies. Haha. (Sorry, that’s not funny.)

  • Reply Tilly Bud December 12, 2011 at 10:42 am

    How lovely!

    I don’t miss Africa time, though 😉

    • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 10:44 am

      I know. The worst thing about Africa time is you never know when it applies. Sometimes you’re expected to be on time, other times it’s fine to be five hours late. Very complicated.

  • Reply lisa@notesfromafrica December 12, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    A lovely story, Heather! You’re up for just about any adventure, aren’t you? 🙂

    • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 2:09 pm

      Yep, pretty much anything. What have I got to lose?

      • Reply lisa@notesfromafrica December 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm

        And that’s why you’ve adjusted so quickly to living in South Africa – which must have been quite a culture shock at first.

        • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 3:17 pm

          To tell you the truth, I’m a lot more culture-shocked now than I was when I arrived. For me, arriving was the easy part. It’s all the unexpected challenges of staying that are throwing me for a loop. If that makes any sense. But I won’t let culture shock stop me from enjoying everything that this country has to offer, for as long as I possibly can 🙂

  • Reply Tenney December 12, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    Great post. Loved the twirling skirt photo. The blur emphasizes the twirling motion, and highlights the high energy nature of the event. Cool photo.

    • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 4:25 pm

      Well, thank you! I’m flattered to receive such a nice compliment from an APPA-award-winning photo editor.

  • Reply landofnams December 12, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    Sounds a bit like an Indian wedding…late to start and it doesn’t matter who comes!

    • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 7:56 pm

      I’ve never been to an Indian wedding. (How is that possible??) But yes, sounds pretty much the same.

  • Reply Eugenia A Parrish December 12, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Wonderful story of a wedding — I felt like I was there. I have a book wherein a professional photographer spends pages describing just how to get a picture like yours of the little girl and her dress! It shows movement and pleasure in a way that a perfectly posed shot couldn’t do.

    • Reply 2summers December 12, 2011 at 7:55 pm

      Wow. That is a really wonderful compliment. Thank you. And thanks for reading.

  • Reply Emily Cannell December 14, 2011 at 1:34 am

    Fantastic! Love it!

  • Reply Slowvelder December 15, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    Wow – you get to do some awesome things Heather – must have been quite an experience. Love your pictures – so much more interesting than normal bridal photography.

    • Reply 2summers December 15, 2011 at 9:16 pm

      Maybe I have a future as a wedding photographer after all.

  • Reply claire December 20, 2011 at 3:01 am

    Heath, Thanks for this great post! Kona was amazing and I really missed you (was glad we could talk on wedding eve), but I feel good knowing that you went to such a big, happy, boisterous wedding on the same day. We didn’t have as much dancing (well some of us did:), but the atmosphere was a bit more serene (we had a beautiful hulu dancer perform throughout the evening, under a full moon). It was magical, but your photo and stories about Bobo and Mantoa’s wedding give the impression of a real p a r t y! I love the dancing photos too! Thinking of you and missing you my dear, brave friend. xxxxx c

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