From Smokey:

Heather asked me to write this post because some of you have been asking about me and wanting to know how I’m doing. I’m doing fine, thank you. Heather and I have a nice routine going at the Lucky 5 Star.

Portrait of moi.

Heather is feeling under the weather today, and since she is at home doing nothing I commanded her to take some photos of me going about my daily activities. This will give you an idea of what a day in the life of the Melville Cat is like.

On most mornings, Heather gets up early to do something called “boxing”. I don’t know what boxing is but I find her habit irritating. She turns on the light and makes a racket, interfering with my valuable sleeping time. At least I get the bed to myself when she leaves.

Sometimes I stay in bed until Heather returns, dozing and bathing myself as the mood strikes me. Other times I get up and take an early stroll around the garden.

When Heather comes home, it’s time for breakfast. I don’t like cat food. I prefer to eat what Heather eats.

A lovely breakfast of milk and muesli.

This is me with a milk mustache. Or rather, a milk goatee.

After breakfast, I bathe again. I am a very fastidious cat. I clean myself for several hours each day.

Cleaning.

Cleaning some more.

After my bath, I spend a few hours stalking prey. I rarely catch prey during daylight hours, but there’s not much to do during the day but sleep and hone my hunting skills.

I see something.

I’m hiding. I see something.

You blew my cover. I hate you.

I spend most of my days in the Lucky 5 Star garden. I hang out in the house sometimes if Heather is home. I also visit my other Melville friends, including Ms. M. Ms. M loves it when I come to visit, and she gives me delicious food. I like to keep my emotional distance though.

When night falls, I hunt in earnest. I often bring my prey inside to show Heather. I bring her frogs and mice and other tasty animals. She always takes my prey away from me and puts it outside again. I just don’t understand this.

At around 9:00 p.m., I come inside and go to sleep with Heather. It’s starting to get cold at night and we need each other to keep warm.

One evening, I decided to play a joke on Heather. I hid myself on top of the sofa, between the curtain and the window. It was warm and comfortable there, so I stayed all night and much of the next morning. I didn’t even come out when Heather made my breakfast.

Then Heather saw my shadow and discovered me. She pulled the curtain back. “What are you doing, kitty? You stayed here all night?!” I could see that she was very relieved to find me. Haha.

Between the curtains.

I have one other exciting piece of news. A few weeks ago Heather told me that we would be moving soon, to another part of the Lucky 5 Star Commune. I wasn’t happy about this, so I went to Horst (the Lucky 5 Star landlord) and told him that I do not want to move. Apparently he listened to what I said, because now Heather says that we’re not moving for a while.

Horst has realized – as everyone eventually does – that he must submit to the will of the Melville Cat.

One last thing. To those of you who are friends with Heather: Please stop coming to the Lucky 5 Star. I don’t like visitors. If you must come in, please do not pet me or pick me up. I find that kind of ingratiating behavior quite unattractive. If you try that, I will simply get up and leave.

The Lucky 5 Star is mine, and so is Heather. So back off.

However, offerings of food — especially milk, fish, chicken, and biltong — are welcome.

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