From Smokey, the Melville Cat:
There’s something wrong with my eye.
Yeah, so my face looks a little funny. What’s it to you?
Heather said my eye is not “dialing” properly. At least that’s what I think she said. I didn’t even realize that cats’ eyes are supposed to dial.
I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. My eye feels weird when light shines in it, but otherwise I’m fine. I can still see everything. I didn’t even know there was a problem until I came into the house today and Heather and Lucky started to look at me strangely. Then they brought out this ugly plastic box, shoved me into it, and put me in the car.
Heather drove me to that unpleasant place called the vet. I cried a little but tried to play it cool. Even when the doctor pushed a horrible, cold stick into a very private and uncomfortable place (how rude!), I kept my composure. I’ve learned from experience that it’s pointless to make a fuss in these situations.
The doctor told Heather that I was fine, except for my non-dialing eye. Duh, I could have told her that myself. So we came back home. Now I am very sleepy.
I just wanted to sleep when we got home. But Heather kept bothering me with her camera.
Later, Heather’s phone rang and it was the doctor. After Heather hung up, she told me that the doctor had figured out what is wrong with me. I have a very rare condition, which makes sense because I am a very rare cat. The condition is called:
IDIOPATHIC PARASYMPATHETIC NERVE DAMAGE.
I told you I was special.
No one knows what causes this condition, and it only happens to cats. But apparently it’s not dangerous and it goes away on its own…in three to four months!
I guess I will have to take some time off from my modeling career.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
The Melville Cat is full of surprises. I’m sad that Smokey’s eye will be a little sensitive (and funny-looking) for the next few months, but relieved that the condition doesn’t seem to be serious. By the way, I took Smokey to the Linden Veterinary Clinic because it was lunch time and there were no vets on duty at the Richmond and Melville clinics. The doctor I saw, Dr. Anita, was fantastic. She didn’t charge me for the consultation, and when she couldn’t diagnose the problem she called a veterinary eye specialist, who gave her an immediate answer without insisting on seeing Smokey. This would NEVER happen in the United States.
Ms. M thinks we should get Smokey an eye patch. I agree that he would look awesome in one. Anyone have a cat-sized pirate costume?