A Cat Without a Tail

From the Melville Cat:

This morning I was hanging out in the kitchen of the Lucky 5 Star, minding my own business. Then Heather and Lucky snuck up on me with that terrible plastic box. Next thing I knew, I was at the horrible place called the vet.

Strange hands pulled me out of the box and put me on a cold metal table. (How rude.) Then I heard Heather speaking to the doctor, whose name was Clare. They were discussing my tail.

“The tail isn’t broken,” Clare said to Heather. “It’s an ABSENT.”

At least I think that’s what she said. But what the hell is an “absent”? My tail was NOT absent — it was attached to my body, like always.

I must admit though, my tail had been bothering me. It was itchy and swollen in the middle. I couldn’t stop licking it, over and over, in the same spot. My fur was falling out in that spot. And when Clare touched it, she said that something called “puss” came out.

“We’ll have to sedate him and clean it out,” Clare said. Heather looked at me sadly, gave me a few pats, and left.

I don’t want to talk about what happened at the vet after that. It was pretty horrible and I don’t remember much anyway. But eventually Clare put me back into the plastic box, and Heather came and got me.

I was glad to be home. But my tail felt funny, and I nearly tipped over when I tried to walk. Heather fussed over me and gave me milk.

Milk is one of the few things that allows me to forget about my tail.

After my milk, I was ready to get OUT. I didn’t want to take any chances on being put back into that plastic box. I began to run around the house, checking all my usual exits. They were closed off.

Prowling, looking for an exit.

A glimpse of my funny tail as I dash angrily past Heather on the couch.

Seriously, people. I’m not happy.

Please let me out. Pleeeeaaaaase.

It took a while for me to accept the fact that Heather was attempting to imprison me, yet again. I can’t believe she is even bothering. Her previous attempt to confine me inside failed miserably. I escaped within a few hours. Humans. Eish.

I spent much of the afternoon and evening wandering around the Lucky 5 Star, howling my displeasure. Heather tried feeding me tuna and giving me catnip. Whatever. My affection cannot be bought.

But now I am tired. So I surrender.

Do not be deceived. I still hate you.

But I’m too exhausted to care.

I hope my “absent” goes away soon so things can get back to normal around here.

♦        ♦        ♦        ♦        ♦        ♦

Smokey does not have an “absent”; he has an abscess. It’s an infection from an internal wound that was probably caused during a fight with another cat. I had actually thought his tail was healed, until a day or two ago when I noticed him licking it and taking the fur off. Hence, our inevitable trip to that horrible place called the vet. 

After sedating Smokey, Dr. Clare shaved his tail, drained the wound, and cleaned it. She says everything should be fine now.

Smokey is resting well and his tail no longer seems to be bothering him. He’ll get a dose of antibiotics hidden in milk for the next few days, and when his fur grows back he should be good as new. He’ll be allowed outside again tomorrow.

What a drama-cat.

Previous Post Next Post


  • Reply jackie hulme July 10, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    the skelm of Melville is grounded but he will make it up for it

    • Reply 2summers July 10, 2012 at 8:40 pm

      Indeed he will. I think it was his fall on the dance floor that caused the abscess.

  • Reply Owls July 10, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    So adorable!!

  • Reply chuckv88 July 10, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    You capture Smokey’s displeasure well through your lens… should I say well done Jon … or Heather?

    • Reply 2summers July 10, 2012 at 8:48 pm

      Both. Although I think I might have surpassed even Jon in the skill of capturing cat displeasure. I see so much of it these days.

  • Reply Lisa July 10, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    The Melville Cat never fails to make me laugh with his uppity grumpiness! Glad he’s ok 🙂

  • Reply Susan Baloga July 10, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    Very poignant story from a cat’s perspective! Love the attitude!

  • Reply Kathryn McCullough July 10, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    Poor baby. So glad he’s going to be okay. Bless his little howling heart!

    • Reply 2summers July 11, 2012 at 9:26 am

      Thanks Kathy. It was actually more like persistent meowing. But he’s been freed this morning so all is well now.

  • Reply rumpydog July 11, 2012 at 2:58 am

    Is he related to June Buggie?

    • Reply 2summers July 11, 2012 at 9:25 am

      I suppose cats are probably like humans. If you go back far enough, they are all from Africa originally!

  • Reply candicepeetzphotography July 11, 2012 at 7:52 am

    YAY…. He is on the mend. What a wonderful piece Smokey, you are such a talented writer. Don’t feel so alone, Munro was also at the vet yesterday and he too, is stuck inside and now has to put up with his crazy sister. You should give him a ring, always good to chat to someone who understands what you are going through! 😉 Get better soon.

    • Reply 2summers July 11, 2012 at 9:28 am

      Thank you Candice. I would love to chat with Munro sometime. We felines need to stick together.

  • Reply Mr Bunny Chow July 11, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    poor guy

    • Reply 2summers July 11, 2012 at 1:32 pm

      I know, sad. He’s okay now though, at least I think so. He was freed from prison this morning and already out galavanting again.

  • Reply tomorrowslices July 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    If looks could kill….I think you would have run out of your 9 lives by now!

    • Reply 2summers July 11, 2012 at 2:58 pm

      Hahahaha. You’re very right.

  • Reply Gail Scott McDonnell Wilson July 11, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Read this story to a small friend of mine and she now wants to know when will I read her another story of Smokey and she hopes he gets better soon. On this I think Smokey should write kiddies books.

    • Reply 2summers July 11, 2012 at 3:28 pm

      Aww! That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Maybe you can read her some of Smokey’s older posts. They are all here: http://2summers.net/category/the-melville-cat/

      You’re not the first person to suggest a children’s book written by Smokey. I have a feeling it will happen eventually.

  • Reply Coach Sue July 11, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    What a cute blog. Wonderful perspective from the kitty’s point of view.

    Sue Bock

    • Reply 2summers July 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      Thank you! Writing from the Melville Cat’s perspective is always a nice break from the norm.

  • Reply craignicholson July 12, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    I can totally relate to this post, I like your style of writing it from the cat’s perspective Heather. Data was not amused when the vet took his temperature this morning – from his rectum. That’s what you call degrading. 😉

  • Leave a Reply

    %d bloggers like this: