From the Melville Cat:

It’s been many months since my last post. I’ve grown tired of blogging and prefer to pass the time sleeping, or eating, or pacing around the house meowing mournfully in the night.

But the time has come for me to speak. I must make a public statement about “the move”.

Heather has threatened me with moving before. A few years ago she told me that we would move next door to her landlord’s cottage. But then I had a talk with Horst, Heather’s landlord, and that move was called off.

Now Heather tells me again that we’re moving, and this time it’s for real. Not far, she tells me, just a few blocks up the street. But we are going to a different house, says Heather. We will no longer live at the Lucky 5 Star Commune.

Heather is insistent about this move. She follows me around in the garden, taking pictures. She says that I won’t be living in this garden much longer and she wants to document me.

Smokey-looking-out

Me in my garden. MY garden.

Smokey-looking-up

This is my favorite spot under the giant palm frond.

Smokey-on-chair

Sitting on MY chair, on MY deck.

My answer to Heather’s insistence about this move is — to put it simply — no.

I move houses only when I feel like doing so, when I fancy a change of scenery. That is what happened three years ago, when I decided to move from Ms. M’s house to Heather’s house.

However, I do not move on command.

To be quite honest, I can’t fathom the meaning of this move. I’ve never left this block. This is MY block.

What if the new block belongs to a different cat? How will I make it mine?

No. I shall not move.

In recent weeks I have adopted various disobedient behaviors to illustrate my position on this move. For example, while Heather was in Zanzibar recently, I showed my displeasure by going into hiding for the week. Ray was responsible for taking care of me while Heather was away, but I disregarded his calls for me in the evenings and instead opted to sleep outside.

I do like Ray, but he is partially to blame for this supposed move; Heather says that one of the reasons we’re moving is because she needs more space to live with Ray. I have no choice but to punish him.

Some nights I behave erratically, hiding under the bed or in the bathroom. Some nights I come home at 3:00 a.m. Some nights I meow incessantly and demand to be let out, even when it’s raining.

Sometimes I go into Horst’s cottage next door and spray my musky cat scent around. Spreading my scent is the best way to make it clear that I am not moving. I also want Horst to know that I refuse to move.

I must make Heather understand that I will not move. And neither will she.

Smokey-window

This is MY window — the window that I use to enter and exit my house approximately 25 times each day. I love this window and I won’t leave it.

Oh, and one more thing. I would like to remind you, my fans, that I have my own account on Instagram. Today I am celebrating my 100th Instagram post. Please follow me.

Smokey-stretch2

My 100th Instagram post.

This concludes my official statement. Good day.

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