I woke up this morning thinking I have to blog.
I have time. I have things I can blog about — there are always things to blog about. But none of my ideas feel quite ready yet, for one reason or another. And I don’t really feel like blogging.
The only thing I can motivate myself to blog about is my lack of motivation to blog.
I’m re-reading what I’ve written so far and looking at these words: blog, blogging. Blog, blogger, bloggety-blog-blogged. Blog sounds like smog and blag and bog and fog.
I remember now why it took me so long to start calling myself a blogger: Because it’s kind of a stupid word.
Lately I’ve been blogging about once a week, which is fine. The beauty of blogging, as I tell other people all the time, is I can do it whenever I like, about whatever I like, as much or as little as I like. But once a week is below my average for the past couple of years.
Last year I was a blogging machine, posting at least twice a week, usually three times or even four. If I wasn’t writing a blog post or obsessively checking my blog stats — which were, I confess, higher than ever before — I was out doing something exciting that I would ultimately blog about. I didn’t waste much time participating in non-bloggable activities.
Taking photos on a rooftop, which is always a bloggable activity. (Photo: Mark Straw)
Every time I published a post I would feel a rush of adrenaline, re-reading what I wrote and waiting for the web traffic and Facebook likes and comments to roll in.
But in hindsight, I was pretty depressed last year. I was blogging to fill a void. If blogging is work — which it kind of is but also not really, I’m never sure — then last year I was a workaholic.
I’m a lot happier this year. I’ve been having fun doing things that — gasp — aren’t related to my blog. Like sleeping in, for example. Or going out dancing at night in places that are too dark to take good photos and aren’t even visually interesting enough for an Instagram story.
I haven’t been checking my blog stats obsessively because: a) My traffic has gone down, because I haven’t been blogging as much; and b) I don’t really care.
I must care a little bit though. Because right now I am forcing myself to write this post.
Okay I do care. And while I’m really enjoying having fun and not blogging as much, it scares the shit out of me because I’ve been writing this blog for eight freaking years and I’ve published 859 posts (860, if you count this one) and sometimes I wonder how long I can keep it up. My readers are depending on me to blog all the time and constantly discover new, quirky, more interesting things for them to read about and do. (At least they’re depending on me in my own mind. It’s also possible they don’t really give a shit.)
What if I run out of ideas? What if people just stop reading blogs, or just stop reading this blog, or what if my blog crashes and it all disappears and I never meant to make this my job but it is kind of my job and actually my whole life, which means my whole life is a job but not a job, and what does it all mean anyway.
If 2Summers ceased to exist, would I cease to exist too?
Deep thoughts with a stuffed giraffe. (Photo: Fiver Löcker)
Some Sunday morning thoughts from a blogger, which is kind of a stupid word.
Ha! If a leaf falls in the forest and no-one sees it……
I don’t depend on you blogging. I don’t care if you’re hip or not. Am I glad you’re out there having fun? You bet I am! Go and have a life. Yes, with or without blogging.
But we all know you’re just about as addicted to this form of communicating with your friends, as we are. I know I’ve got to get my fix from time to time. For me, still living very hermit like, it’s one of the best forms of communication that works best for me. And from time to time I drop off posting…. so it’s really simply do as the Spirit moves 🙂
And stop giving yourself a hard time Heather! 🙂
Hahahaha, thanks for the pep talk. We’ve been following each other’s blog for a REALLY long time! And you’re totally right – that’s what it’s all about. xxx
It’s a bit better than “vlogging.” :-s 😀
A lovely post! Blogging is an interesting thing,that is for sure. I resisted for ages thinking it was all ego-driven, but then I fell in love with the picture/word possibilities and now I like it for being an archive of interesting people and places and events in my life – which are then shareable forever. I don’t however know how many followers I have (I suspect few) or watch the stats. That might make me miserable. I like blogging because it is just for me! So hope you continue having fun and sharing some of your experiences for the rest of us too.
Sounds like you have a very healthy approach! That’s the way it should be.
I took a break from monthly MK newsletters. No inspiration. Then after a visit to new places, I felt like sharing somethings again.
Those newsletters are great. Glad you found new inspiration 🙂
The only way you’d run out of ideas is if Joburg or SA or whatever you’re passionate about stopped changing and that’s impossible. There’s so much to discover, and just when you think you have a handle on it, there’s something new. But. Being passionate and excited and enthusiastic all the time can be exhausting. Sometimes you just need a break. And then one day you’ll see something you want to share with the rest of the world.
Hey there Heather – I am new to 2Summers but I enjoy it and your cool take on all things Jozi. How about we meet for a coffee at the Richmond cafe?
Wow. I’ve never seen someone hit on a blogger in real time. I can’t wait to see how this works out.
Haha, I know Andy already. He’s safe 😂
What? Damn it. I was so prepared to be entertained. Well, at least he’s not a stalker? Sorry, Andy.
Yes, let’s do it!
Hah! Didn’t even think that my invitation would be taken that way, Autumn . Glad you saw it as a friendly gesture, Heather. News is not very busy, so sometime this week? 11ish is good or the afternoon. Cheers
Ha, sometimes I write a post and hate it — I still have a draft of why my in-laws are like Shark Week — and sometimes I write one and don’t post it because it has too many points (aka too many words).
But I am glad you are out dancing and living and not just blogging. Though I like your blogs, too.
Ah, we’ve all been there. Good for you though. You’ve been a machine. Take a well-deserved break! I definitely blog less than I did in the past and it’s not for lack of ideas either, I just find myself working on other things, living life, all of which are good things. Even if it’s ‘your thing’ it can still take over your life and that’s not what we wanted to begin with, right?
Yeah. Sometimes I do wonder if my blog is about my life or if my life is about my blog.
you introduced me to blogging by the way
so don’t leave
ALSO I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE MY STATS ARE, WHAT KIND OF TEACHER!!!!
I’m not telling you. It’s better not to know.
I like this blog, in particular your ending.
there. 76521 readers and everyone liked it!
Ugh, I feel ya! I spent the last few years feeling unmotivated and now this year I step back in and of course discover that EVERYONE IS A BLOGGER. Apparently. How things have changed. You’ll have seen that over the 8 years you’ve been blogging. And 8 years is such a long time! Of course you’re going to get burnt out and have ups and downs. Even though I don’t live in SA I love reading your blog and hearing your stories – you do it so well so keep it up!!
Thanks so much, Rebecca. And welcome back to the (ever-growing) world of blogging 😂
I for one LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog. I have enjoyed following you for years. I too often struggle with blogging as I think the blogging world has changed. But rest assured I adore your posts and read them as much as I can. I would very much miss 2summers! 🙂
I’ve also noticed a change recently — I’ve had a drop in traffic this year for the first time ever. But I try to remind myself that getting lots of hits isn’t the reason I started blogging so no need to obsess about it eight years later either.
Great point! I agree. It is using our voice that matters! 🙂