Okay people. It’s time to talk about dating apps.
If you’re using a dating app like Tinder — or considering doing so — read to the end of this post. You could win a free dating app profile consultation and photoshoot.
I avoided the dating app scene for ages. The whole concept terrified me. But I have several friends who are using dating apps — Tinder most commonly — or have used them in the past, and while the feedback wasn’t 100% positive I’d heard a few success stories.
So a couple of weeks ago I swallowed my fear and downloaded the app. I chose a few photos, wrote a bio, and bam: I was on Tinder.
I thought I’d swipe on a few profiles, have some nice chats, block a few creeps, maybe go on a couple of dates. And much of that did happen, except for the dating part — I haven’t gone on a single Tinder date yet. But that’s a story for another post.
Anyway. The main thing I’ve done while browsing Tinder is laugh.
I don’t laugh because the men are witty (although a small percentage of them are). I laugh because many of the men’s profiles are — to be quite frank — awful.
Over and over, as I swipe left, I find myself wishing Tinder had a private comment section in which I could provide constructive criticism to people about how to make their profiles look and read better. Just a bit of advice from a professional online communicator, to be taken or left as the recipient sees fit.
I began screenshotting the worst offenders for future reference.
Unsolicited Advice to the Men of Tinder
Here are a few things I wish I could say to some of the men I’ve encountered on Tinder and Bumble, a similar dating app.
[Disclaimer: I’m a heterosexual woman, hence the profiles I see belong to heterosexual men. So I have to pick on the men here, even though I’m sure there are lots of funny/bad women’s profiles, too. #SorryNotSorry.]
You’ll see I’ve carefully removed all identifying characteristics from the screenshots below.
And the number one piece of advice I want to give to the men I encounter on Tinder: PROOFREAD.
A few more tips I’ve yearned to give, again and again:
- Take off your shades.
- Don’t say you’re 42 when you’re obviously 60.
- No photos of you petting a lion cub/tiger cub/cheetah. (If you’re wondering why, read this.)
- Write a bio. Profiles without words are boring.
- Avoid clichés like “Love the great outdoors”, “No baggage” (ha!), “Enjoy long walks barefoot on the beach” (really?), and “Looking for a partner in crime.” (That last one is my worst.)
- Try not to look like a serial killer.
Need Help With Your Tinder Profile?
As I fantacized about this mythical Tinder comment section, I began developing a second fantasy: To start a business helping people improve their dating app profiles. I may not be good at dating, but I damn sure know how to write a good paragraph and shoot a good portrait.
I mentioned the idea to my friend Frances, a fellow photographer and social media professional who knows her way around the dating apps. She told me she’s been entertaining the very same fantasy. And we thought: Wait, we should actually do this.
So we’re turning our fantasy into reality. We’re going to make Tinder a better place for everyone — hallelujah! Please join us in our quest.
To get things rolling we’ve decided to provide five free sessions to potential online daters — both women and men — who want to create new dating app profiles or improve their existing profiles. We’ll meet with you, do a photoshoot, and help whip your profile into shape.
If you’re interested in being one of our five guinea pigs, please send a message through my contact page explaining why you deserve to be selected. You’ll hear back from us soon.