The Melville Cat

From the Melville Cat: Happy Birthday to Me

From the Melville Cat:

Good day. I must confess the title of this post is rather misleading.

Today may very well be my birthday. Then again it may not. (Felines don’t bother remembering birth dates.) But the dear Ms. M, my original human caretaker, told Heather she believes I was born in or around December 2007.

I am now at or near the age of 12: the equivalent of 64 years by human measurements.

The Melville Cat
Moi, on what may or may not be my 12th (64th) birthday.
Melville Cat laughing
How is it possible I’ve lived so many years?

I am a venerable older gentleman and ready to enjoy my golden years. Hence I have chosen today, Friday the 13th of December, to celebrate myself and my accomplishments to date.

Accomplishments of the Melville Cat

December 2007 (or thereabout): I am born somewhere, to someone. I do not remember the circumstances of my birth or who my parents are. I have many siblings.

February 2008 (or thereabout): Ms. M discovers me in a cage inside the dreadful veterinarian’s office, capering about with a brood of gray siblings. Ms. M can not resist my charms and brings me to her home on Melville’s 6th Avenue.

I live a pleasant life with Ms. M, accompanied by a large family of humans, felines, and canines.

August 2010: As I grow older, I become consumed with the desire to wander far and wide through the streets and gardens of Melville. I particularly enjoy one wild Melville garden, a few houses away from Ms. M’s.

One day a new human arrives in this garden and begins to take my photograph. I later learn this human’s name is Heather.

The first photograph of me to appear on this blog, in August 2010. Heather’s photography skills have improved significantly since then.

September 2010-August 2011: I continue to visit Heather and her boyfriend Jon on a routine basis. Naturally, they become attached to me and begin to feed me and invite me inside their home. Heather and Jon are convinced I am female (silly humans) and call me Squeak — a name I find offensive.

I inwardly laugh at the error of their ways. But I enjoy the chicken and milk they feed me and thus remain silent.

A photo of me in my young adult years.

Ms. M is none the wiser, as she has become accustomed to my long wanders. I live quite happily in both homes.

September 2011: The jig is up. Ms. M discovers my deception and reveals to Heather and Jon that I have been living a double life. Months of confusion ensue. Heather and Jon, now enlightened regarding my true name (Smokey) and gender (male), encourage me to return to Ms. M.

But the feline forces above have other plans for me. I continue to reside primarily in Heather’s back garden.

December 2011: Tragically, Jon dies. I know Heather needs me, and Ms. M provides her blessing.

On a dark December night, I leap though Heather’s window and take my rightful place at the corner of her bed. Heather doesn’t argue. I start my life anew as Smokey, the Feline King of Melville, and begin to blog regularly as the Melville Cat.

I was quite a bit sleeker back then.

January 2012-August 2018: Years pass. I have many adventures. One day my eye stops dialing. Another day I get stuck on the roof and experience a dramatic rescue.

My dialing eye.

I am forced to live with a blasted cone on my head.

A dark day in the life of the Melville Cat.

Heather moves me to a new Melville house, which I’m not pleased about at first. I briefly depart that house, then return. Eventually I fall in love with my new domain.

I become a published columnist.

The Melville Cat in the lounge
This photo appears in my column.

September 2018: My world turns dramatically upside down with the arrival of the Midget Fluff Ball Menace.

Trixie as a tint kitten
The Menace.

Life becomes very tiresome with constant harassment, photobombing, and attempted upstaging from this irritating ginger kitten. I’m not happy but I reluctantly accept the Menace is here to stay.

Smokey and Trixie
Stand-off with young Menace.

October 2018: I receive my first paid endorsement as a cat food spokesperson. At last, my talents are fully recognized.

July 2019-present: I adjust to my new realities, as one must. The Menace becomes an adult and I allow her to remain. I train her to be an upstanding and honorable feline.

Trixie the Midget Fluff Ball Menace, all grown up.
The Menace as she appears today.
The Melville Cat and Trixie
Strangely I have become quite attached to her.
Trixie photobombing Smokey
I could do without the harassment and photobombing.

December 2019: I am a distinguished elderly gentleman. I rarely climb trees or murder rodents anymore, nor do I wander the streets of Melville as often as I once did.

I am content to recline on the sofa and watch Netflix programs with Heather, occasionally sharing my space with the Menace.

Life is good.

Melville Cat reclining.
Happy birthday to moi.

Despite my advanced age I won’t be retiring as a blogger anytime soon. There will be more Melville Cat stories to follow. Happy holidays.

Read all of the Melville Cat’s blog posts and follow him on Instagram.

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11 Comments

  • Reply eremophila December 13, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    Wow! Time has flown by, gosh you still look and act fabulous Smokey. Happy happy birthday xxxxx

    • Reply 2summers December 13, 2019 at 3:59 pm

      Time does fly, doesn’t it? Thank you for being one of my most loyal fans during all my years of blogging. Love to Fred and the felines.

  • Reply dizzylexa December 13, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    Happy birthday Smokey, hope you got some special treats from Heather and like the gentleman that you are, you shared with the Midget Fluff Ball.

    • Reply 2summers December 13, 2019 at 5:03 pm

      So far I have only received my normal food. Hmph.

  • Reply AutumnAshbough December 13, 2019 at 6:22 pm

    Aw, thanks for the update, MC. And Happy Birthday or Unbirthday to you. Did you get milk and cake?

    • Reply 2summers December 13, 2019 at 7:01 pm

      I got only my normal food and treats. Grrrrrrr

  • Reply Catrina December 13, 2019 at 7:05 pm

    Enjoy a well-deserved retirement, Melville Cat! Looks like you have it made!

    • Reply 2summers December 13, 2019 at 9:49 pm

      I am living my best life ūüėļ

  • Reply Margaret Urban December 15, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    Congratulations Melville Cat! Your best life indeed!

    All cats (and humans) should be so lucky / blessed :-/

    • Reply 2summers December 15, 2019 at 1:58 pm

      That is true. I am very fortunate.

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