Hello.
After blogging mostly every day for the first 100 days of South Africa’s COVID-19 lockdown, I took a full week off. This is weird. It feels like I’ve been gone for ages.
In fact I haven’t been gone at all — I’ve been right here, in my house, the whole time — and very little has changed.
Actually, a few things have changed: 1) I’m a year older, as I celebrated a birthday last Wednesday; 2) South Africa has tens of thousands more COVID cases and we are officially entering a viral surge; 3) Alcohol has been banned again and I feel like I’m living in the Soviet Union; 4) I no longer remember what day of lockdown we’re on.
I’m glad I took a break. I definitely couldn’t have kept up with those numbered lockdown posts any longer. But I’m disappointed I didn’t accomplish what I set out to accomplish during my blogging holiday.
In hindsight, I suppose it was unrealistic to expect I would write a memoir, redesign my blog, and come up with an entirely new plan for my future over the course of one week, during the dead of winter, in a global pandemic.
I did not accomplish any of those things. Here is a list of what I did accomplish:
- Cut-and-pasted some memoir-like bits into a Google doc. Hit save.
- Ate two delicious red velvet cupcakes.
- Ordered and ate a pizza.
- Exercised three times.
- Read part of a book.
- Counted approximately 27 new daffodil blossoms.
- Scrolled Facebook/Twitter/Instagram for approximately 47 hours.
- Listened to approximately 537 podcasts.
- Watched 39 episodes of Grace and Frankie.
- Pet each cat approximately 4513 times.
- Listened to Fetch the Bolt Cutters approximately 22 times.
- Purchased loungewear (online).
- Cooked one pot of soup.
- Completed one knitting project, started a second.
I feel freaked out about how little I’m doing, or want to do. Other people I know are out doing socially responsible activities, like walking around the neighborhood, hiking on the outskirts of town, cycling, shopping in stores (with masks on). Not only am I not doing any of these things, I don’t really miss doing them. I don’t yearn for the day when I’ll be able to drink a glass of wine in a restaurant. I don’t wish I could get out of the house. I’m not dreaming of future trips. I just…don’t care.
I’m worried there’s something wrong with me. But as a friend reminded me today: There’s something wrong with everyone. She’s obviously right.
Also the president made a speech last night, and I’ve noticed everyone in South Africa is in a pissy mood the day after the president speaks. Every presidential speech is a reminder we’re in a pandemic, things keep getting worse, and nothing is going to change for the better until at least 2021.
Did I mention there’s loadshedding in South Africa now, and the power goes out nearly every day for 4.5 hours, and loadshedding puts everyone in a pissy mood even at the best of times? Did I mention it’s cold, and it’s Monday, and basically everything sucks?
On the other hand, writing this post is one thing I did look forward to when I woke up this morning. Blogging, even when I’m in a terrible mood and have little to say that isn’t a whiney complaint, is one of the few activities that makes me feel quasi normal during lockdown.
I’m happy to be back. Are you happy I’m back? I don’t see why you would be but if you are, thank you.
I promise I won’t subject you to a post every day, at least not until I have more interesting and positive topics to write about. But you can expect a couple each week. I think the next one will be better.
Welcome back. I look to forward to your posts, however frequent or infrequent.
Thanks Heather!
Think about the daffodils, beautiful when they bloom, worth waiting for. But much of their life takes place in the dark underground. That time in the dark is necessary for their time of blooming.
You’ll bloom again Heather, when the time is right.
That’s a lovely way to think about it!
if you like to be active join us on Wednesday morning and Sunday morning for a nice run (approx 5km) starting from Love Books……. We start at 07.00 and some even like to start at 06.30 (not me) Early? I hear you say….. Yes it’s early but lovely to be outside and meet nice people, smell the cold air in your nose, feel the sun coming up and from this Sunday we will end our run with a nice coffee at Service Station…….
That sounds nice! I just might take you up on that.
I am VERY happy you are back, pissy or not. Glad for your cats and your daffodils. Not so much for the loadshedding or lack of alcohol. Read The Overstory. It’s long but a magnificent novel and I really think it will make you feel better…combined with the fact that The Wilds is re-opening August 1 – now THAT is good news.
Yes, I am really looking forward to going to the Wilds and Emmarentia again. I think that will lift my spirits. Thanks for the book recommendation!
Very happy you are back! You put some shape on my often shapeless lockdown days. And it’s always interesting. Thank you.
Thanks so much, Caroline. I really appreciate that.
welcome back! BTW, the first few rows of your knitting project are not screwed up, that is part of a highly original design!
Hahahaha, thanks Dieter 🙂
Ah, Heather is back!!
Yes, I missed you. You were part of my evening ritual.
Things are getting worse right now, but believe me, Heather, life will be back!
Nothing is wrong with you. It’s a collective misery. But there will be an end to this.
Congratulations on finishing your shawl! It looks good on you!
Thanks Catrina. I missed you too!
Welcome back Heather. You make me laugh, even when things are pissy x
Hahahaha, I’m glad! We need more laughing.
Happy you are back 🙂
Thank you!
Just yesterday I thought “Where’s 2Summers?”…..of course I’d forgotten you said you were taking a break. So yes! I missed you!
Thanks Brenda! I’m glad you didn’t have to miss me for too long 🙂
I love your honesty. We’re all in pissy moods, we can’t plan for shit, and it’s very surreal that our job is to sit home while the world is on fire.
That no alcohol thing is BS (and I don’t drink).
Yeah. There are just a few things the SA government is doing very wrong. Ironically I think they’re doing a lot more things right – many more things than the US govt – but those things are all being overshadowed by the stupid alcohol and cigarette bans.
Yah!!! What a nice surprise to see your unexpected blog. And so relieved to read I am not the only one suffering from apathy. :)))
Haha. You’re most definitely not alone.
Happy you’re back! Strongs.
Thanks Lara!
I don’t feel any reason to leave home anymore either. Thinking of you
Thanks Linda! Glad we’re on the same page. Miss you ❤️
Welcome back! I laughed when you said you’ve been unproductive – a bit earlier today I was doing an occasional online ‘daily’ page, where I was lamenting that I have been unproductive … I guess it is a sign of the times …
On the alcohol ban – the strain alcohol-related violence puts on the health system is massive; the issue is how a total ban has been imposed without consulting businesses affected or behavioural scientists or – anyone – beyond the ‘inner circle’. :/
Yeah, I see the point about the violence, but I also saw an Africa Check article saying the stats the government is quoting on that issue are overblown. And I think Africa Check is a pretty reputable source. I think the government has handled a lot of things well in this pandemic but that issue is not one of them.
i missed you. But the picutres of the daffodils, your cats and your knitting filled my heart.
Aw, thanks Nancy.
I appreciate your honesty in feeling just meh. Even when you don’t have something particularly positive to write, I feel drawn to reading your blog because you are also honest and real about your experience and feelings which makes me feel very much not alone in thinking the same things, even from far away in the states. Have to say it lifts my spirits to go out doing maybe one store or two for some shopping trips (mask always on and staying far away from others and going at hours with the least amount of traffic), just to be out doing something so normal. Plus looking at a screen trying to shop gets ridiculous. The first store I went into post “stay at home” order I literally just stared at everything and picked up everything I could because I wasn’t sure if I would be allowed out again to see the inside of a store and my eyes hurt trying to take in seeing so much at once. It was strange and scary and filled me with glee to be out all at once. These are crazy times. Happy to have you back!
Thanks so much, Annie. I’m going to have loadshedding all afternoon today so I think I will have no choice but to go out and do some shopping. I’m sure it will feel good in the end 🙂
I love reading your blog posts even if you feel you haven’t done anything interesting or have much to say. My guess is that you’re in your natural environment Miss Hermit Crab Cancerian? Perfectly normal then to not feel any motivation to venture out? 😀 I hear Cancerians are often talented crafters and colourists ( just some random info ). I wouldn’t be surprised if your knitting project reflects this. Did you know there’s an incredibly inspiring yarny community over on Ravelry?
Thanks so much Jen. Yep, you’re right on with the Cancerian thing – I love bring home, maybe a bit too much. Ironic considering my life story and choice of career as a travel writer ???? Yes, I have heard of ravelry! Thanks for the reminder – I need to check it out.
Love your knitted cowl/scarf thing, next on my Lockdown Life list of things to do 🙂
Thanks. I’m so glad I decided to learn knitting right before this whole mess happened – so lucky!
I knitted some cushion covers for winter 🙂
Yay!
I hate power outages. Can’t say I miss them, but at least they’re planned? Love your knitting projects. Hurray for daffodils and cats and velvet cupcakes. Don’t worry about a “MEH” mood or season. It happens to the best of us. It’s normal. xo
Thanks Lani. Yes, the ONLY good thing about these outages is we (usually) know when they’re coming. There’s a whole complicated scheduling system and some very smart people created an app that allows you to type in your neighborhood and get notifications about when your outages will be. I’ve reached a point now where I can kind of cope with it, but it really sucks when the outages are at night.
Yeah, it sucks really anytime. We got a lot in Cambo and it’s sooooo hot, even at night with not even a fan to cut through the humidity is torture. That app sounds like a life saver. Good luck.
Welcome back – I’ve missed them!
Thank you!
Happy Birthday!
Thanks ????
The alcohol ban is so important to hospital bed capacity. Too many violent injuries on weekends due to drunks fighting otherwise, and they take up ventilators, theater, beds and health care workers time.
But yes highly annoying!!
Load shedding!I see it forced family time 🙂 not worth getting miserable over, or Ihead to work with its generators.
Oh yay, another fan of Grace and Frankie!
Yeah! I watched the few episodes way back when, didn’t get into it, then came back to it recently. I like shows like that during pandemic times — nothing too heavy or distressing and doesn’t require too much mental energy 🙂
time goes so quickly it felt like you were gone just a few days.
WELCOME BACK.
Lovely words, lovely flowers, difficult times.
Yes. Thanks 🙂