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Melville cat

Smokey yawning with Trixie

The Melville Cat: I Am a Cat Food Spokesperson

Good day, friends. Here is some important news from the Melville Cat: 1) Trixie, the Midget Fluff Ball Menace, is still in my home. She keeps growing larger. I’m tired of her and yet she continues to be present. Hmph. 2) I have been hired as a spokesperson — a spokescat, if you will — for the local cat food company, Montego. Montego has recently made some changes to its range of cat foods and they have hired moi to tell you about it. As I dictate this post to Heather, she insists I tell you the Midget Fluff Ball Menace has also been hired as a Montego spokeskitten. I can’t explain why. She is a child, barely three months old, and has virtually no experience as a social media influencer. The Fluff Ball tried to open our Montego gift hamper before I even arrived home. How rude. Hmph. But fine. I will include the Midget’s input, if I must. Montego Cat Food: A Spokescat’s Review (and some input from an inexperienced Midget Fluff Ball Menace) Montego has unveiled new adult dry cat foods in tuna and chicken flavors. I should mention this new food contains “Hairball Assist”. I personally do not […]

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Trixie chases the Melville Cat's tail

From the Melville Cat: A Kitten in My Castle

Dear readers, A kitten has invaded my home. Please help. Sincerely, The Melville Cat Yes, I’m sure you find her charming. But I assure you, this kitten is a terrible menace. Several days ago, Heather came into my house with a large crate. I peered between the bars and hissed with disdain: Inside were several piles of squirmy, dun-colored fluff. Four young felines? Five? I couldn’t count. Dirty, dun-colored baby felines in my house. Ha! “They’re from Hillbrow,” Heather told me. “Remember the other kitten I brought from Hillbrow, many years ago?” I have never been to Hillbrow. I do not remember, nor do I care. An hour later Heather left the house and took the crate with her. I was relieved. Alas, she returned the next day. This time she emptied the crate of Hillbrow fluff onto my bathroom rug. Three squirmy piles of feline fluff on my bathroom rug. Two filthy fluff balls. The kittens’ eyes were dirty and runny when they arrived from Hillbrow.  There were three young felines. I could see their noses and paws through the crack under the bathroom door. Heather spent lots of time in the bathroom. Sometimes she took other humans in with her. […]

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Melville Cat in bedroom

The Melville Cat: My Favorite Feline Instagrammers

From the Melville Cat: As many of you know, I am an Instagrammer as well as a blogger. You can peruse my Instagram photos at @TheMelvilleCat. This photo, which portrays me relaxing thoughtfully on my bedroom floor, recently appeared on my Instagram feed. Heather shoots all of my photos, with active direction from me. I also enjoy following the adventures of my fellow felines on Instagram. The feline Instagram community is prolific, perhaps because cats are so obviously photogenic (especially me). Since you haven’t heard from me for a while on this blog, I thought I would drop in and share with you my five favorite feline Instagrammers (in addition to myself, of course). 1) @LudwigoftheLofts @LudwigoftheLofts is a Johannesburg native like myself. Not only is Ludwig a beautiful cat — with a snow-white coat, one blue eye, and one green eye — he also has a very entertaining personality. Ludwig enjoys escaping outside through the window of his loft in pursuit of female love interests, reclining upside-down amidst flowers, and squeaking at flies. Ludwig. Be sure to watch Ludwig’s Instagram videos as they are particularly inspired. 2) @BadCatPhotos @BadCatPhotos is perhaps my favorite of all feline Instagram accounts because it […]

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Smokey kissing beaded Smokey

From the Melville Cat: I’m a Work of Art

From the Melville Cat: Heather enjoys animal-inspired art. She has a beaded giraffe, for example, as well as a clay porcupine. But until recently she did not have any art inspired by the most important animal in her life: me. I’ve been dropping hints about this omission for years — by sleeping on Heather’s art books and refusing to admire the beaded giraffe despite multiple prompts. Apparently my hints finally worked. Last week Heather came home with this: My beaded likeness. I’ve named him Melville Cat Deux. I didn’t think much of my beaded likeness at first. After all these years of waiting, I suppose I’d lost interest in the idea. Also his front legs are a bit short. Ho hum. But then I took a closer look at Melville Cat Deux and realized his resemblance to me is quite remarkable. We have a similar posture. A man named Shepherd made Melville Cat Deux. Shepherd makes a living creating beaded animals on Melville’s 7th Street. He has sold Heather several beaded animals in the past. Shepherd with Melville Cat Deux. Shepherd has been making beaded animals in Melville for many years — longer than Heather can remember — but he […]

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Heather and Smokey photoshoot 3

From the Melville Cat: A Breakup

From the Melville Cat: I’m writing this post as a favor to Heather. She’s been trying to write it for days — I’ve been watching her — but today she gave up and asked me to do it for her. Unlike my usual light-hearted feline musings, this is a serious post indeed. Ray does not live in our house anymore. Heather says it’s a breakup. I wasn’t familiar with this term before and I still don’t understand completely, as nothing is broken as far as I can see. I never saw any pieces of glass on the floor — something I always make sure to scamper away from. I don’t see any cracks in the furniture. All I know is, there used to be three of us and now there are two. A breakup? What exactly do you mean? It was confusing at first. Heather went away on a trip — she was already sad before she left — and while she was gone Ray carried some things out of the house. He seemed sad, too. On one particular morning during this time, Ray was very sad indeed. He carried some more things out of the house. I followed him […]

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Abby the Hillbrow Cat in Melville

A Hillbrow Cat Becomes a Melville Cat

Before reading on, I suggest reading Part 1 of Abby the Tiger’s story. Humans call me Abby. But they used to call me Tiger. Abby, formerly Tiger, a well-traveled cat. Some of you may remember me — I’ve told my story here before. I was born in Hillbrow and I used to live in a boxing gym there. Back then, when I was still a young cat, Heather (the human who owns this blog) asked me to write a guest post for her. She thought my life was very interesting, and I suppose she was right. This is me, more than two years ago, when I was a young cat in Hillbrow. The man in the photo is George, my original human. My story has become even more interesting since then. I recently bumped into Heather and she asked me to write an update. I will pick up where I left off. Two years ago (that’s about 10 cat years ago), I was a happy cat in Hillbrow. I slept at the gym and roamed the streets, wherever and whenever I pleased. I was small and fast and vicious and I knew how to take care of myself. I was Tiger, the […]

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The Melville Cat in the lounge

The Melville Cat: I’m a Columnist

The Melville Cat is a published columnist. Please read his column below. I was invited to write an opinion piece for the Melville Residents Association newsletter. This comes as no surprise. I have resided in Melville for a decade and I am the most famous and well-respected feline in the suburb. I am also an experienced blogger. I’ve lived in three Melville residences during my life. In 2011 I resided in two homes at once, unbeknownst to the humans involved. I convinced the humans of each home that I lived in their home only, thus procuring double the food (including chicken treats) and double the stroking of a normal cat. The humans eventually discovered my ruse but it was lovely while it lasted. Since 2012 I have resided exclusively with a human called Heather (2Summers), and later with her human partner Ray. Life in the 2Summers household has been pleasant; I still receive a larger than average amount of stroking and chicken treats. I experienced a hiccup in 2015 when the household moved from one side of Melville to the other, and the humans deceived me into coming along. I was displeased with the move at first, as this new Melville […]

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Melville Cat yawning

A Melville Cat Photoshoot

From the Melville Cat: This is a periodic update for my fans, to tell you that I am doing well. It is springtime in Johannesburg, the weather is fine, and I am spending lots of time outside, calling to my feline friends. I especially enjoy calling to my feline friends late at night, just outside the bedroom, with long, dramatic, mournful meows. I think Heather and Ray enjoy my calls as well. Heather conducted a photoshoot with me last week, which I quite enjoyed. Here are my favorite photos from the shoot. That is all that I have to say. Heather asked me to tell you that she is going away for a week and may not have time to blog during her travels. She will update you on her experiences upon her return. In the meantime, I will be at home enjoying extra servings of roast chicken and catnip with Ray. Thank you and good day. Meeoow.

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Michelle De Villiers

My Favorite Joburg People: Michelle de Villiers

I recently announced a storytelling project I’m working on called My Favorite Joburg People. I chose four people in Joburg, each of whom has an amazing story to tell, and interviewed them and shot their portraits. I’ll be presenting the stories and portraits at an upcoming event called Translating Joburg – Storytellers, and also publishing them on my blog. This is the first of the four stories. These stories are longer than my normal blog posts. Michelle de Villiers Michelle at Junkie Charity Shop, May 2016. I met Michelle through a cat. When I first moved to Joburg in 2010, a gray cat started hanging around in my back garden. My neighbor’s cat chased the gray cat mercilessly and I chased him too, trying to rid our garden of the incessant feline fights. But the gray cat kept coming back. My boyfriend Jon and I finally started feeding the gray cat, who we called Squeak. Jon was not a huge cat fan but Squeak won him over. Squeak started sleeping in our house. We took Squeak to the vet and learned that Squeak was a he, not a she, as we originally thought. We began to think of Squeak as ours. One day […]

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A Must-Have Item for Every Garden in Johannesburg

Do you live in Johannesburg? Do you have a garden, or know someone who does? Do you have R400 to spend? If so, then you need this: Hadeda tire planter from Yada Yada in Melville. If you don’t live in Joburg and don’t know what a hadeda is, read here. But these hadedas are not easily transportable, so unless you already live in Joburg (or at least in South Africa) then you probably can’t have one. If you do live in Joburg, then make your way to Melville’s 7th Street and buy a hadeda. They’re made of recycled materials, they have a built-in irrigation system, and they can double as large hand-bags. Ray photobombs Hadeda. Ray carried Hadeda as a handbag for a while after we bought her. Hadeda in another position at Yada Yada. We did a whole photoshoot with her.  If you’re not into hadedas (some people aren’t, although I’ve never understood those people) then you can also buy an owl. Best of all, Hadeda looks fabulous in our garden (as I’m sure she would in every South African garden) and she makes me happy every time I look at her, which is at least 50 times a day. The red petunias match Hadeda’s beak.  […]

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Smokey Melville Cat

Recent Events in the Life of the Melville Cat

From the Melville Cat: Dear Readers, Heather often says that you are eager for news about me and wish that I would post more often. I must apologize but, to tell the truth, my life is not terribly eventful. I eat, sleep, and walk laps around the swimming pool. (Cats do not swim.) I am not as young as I once was, and don’t get up to as many adventures as I did in my youth. I have little appetite for murdering birds these days, and prefer to sit quietly in the sun. I no longer fight with the other cats in the neighborhood, as I’ve realized it’s much easier to ignore them. No fighting means no injuries, which means no imprisonment inside the blasted Cone of Shame. This is good, both for me and my humans. My fighting days are in the past. I prefer not to risk my extraordinary good looks. I also learned a valuable lesson last year when I briefly absconded — Heather insists I “ran away” although I maintain that I was just on holiday — from my Melville domain. The holiday didn’t work out as I planned, and it was far more trouble than it was worth. It was nice to see […]

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The Melville Cat: My First Hotel Review

From the Melville Cat: A couple of weeks ago I took my first holiday, to a place in the south of Joburg called Cattery on the Hill. I suppose you could argue that this was not really my first holiday. Last month, while Heather was away on an extended trip, I decided to take a surprise holiday without telling anyone and absconded from our house in Melville. That holiday, however, did not turn out as planned. It was precisely due to my unsuccessful first holiday attempt that this new holiday came about. Heather had to go away on another trip and decided to subvert any surprise holiday plans I might have by sending me to Cattery on the Hill. Actually, let’s face it. Every day is a holiday in the life of the Melville Cat. But I digress. Heather shut me into my crate one morning and took me on a long drive. We went onto the highway and eventually reached a beautiful place with many hills and trees. This, Heather told me, was the south of Joburg. I didn’t understand where we were going at the time and I’ll admit that I wasn’t pleased. The long ride made me car sick […]

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