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relationships

Heather and Smokey photoshoot 3

From the Melville Cat: A Breakup

From the Melville Cat: I’m writing this post as a favor to Heather. She’s been trying to write it for days — I’ve been watching her — but today she gave up and asked me to do it for her. Unlike my usual light-hearted feline musings, this is a serious post indeed. Ray does not live in our house anymore. Heather says it’s a breakup. I wasn’t familiar with this term before and I still don’t understand completely, as nothing is broken as far as I can see. I never saw any pieces of glass on the floor — something I always make sure to scamper away from. I don’t see any cracks in the furniture. All I know is, there used to be three of us and now there are two. A breakup? What exactly do you mean? It was confusing at first. Heather went away on a trip — she was already sad before she left — and while she was gone Ray carried some things out of the house. He seemed sad, too. On one particular morning during this time, Ray was very sad indeed. He carried some more things out of the house. I followed him […]

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An Update From the Real Me

My blog lives a double life. Most of the time it’s a fun, informative guide to living and traveling in Joburg and surrounds. But other times it’s a personal account of what’s happening in my actual life. A few years ago, when lots of tragic and dramatic stuff was happening to me, I wrote lots of personal posts. After Jon died, I wrote at length about death and addiction and grief. I poured my rawest, most intense feelings into the blog, sometimes not realizing what I’d written until after the post was published. But I find it harder to be personal on my blog when awesome, happy stuff is happening to me. It’s easy to write about surface-level happy stuff, like co-authoring books and fun blogger trips around South Africa. But all these surface-level happy things are happening for a reason, and that’s what I want to write about even though it’s really hard. The real me. She hasn’t written enough lately. (Photo: Ray) A couple of years ago I realized that I wasn’t a complete person. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted and needed. I was addicted to self-destructive feelings and emotions and I couldn’t make myself happy. I looked fine on the outside but on the inside I was eating […]

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